First, thank you to everyone who emailed, commented, sent me Twitter messages, texted me, and called me with well wishes for our little boy. I'm happy to say he is doing much better! He is still not 100%, but we are making progress, and I'm so thankful for that. Thank you to everyone who helped make a tough time a little easier on us!
Second, if you aren't yet a member of the Learning Domestic Discipline Social Network, there's an awesome Valentines Day special going on! You can find out more about it on my husbands blog.
I thought of just about every excuse possible to not write this blog entry. I think the best excuse I came up with was that I didn't want to feed into the drama that, for God knows what reason, seems to circulate through DD blogs (and emails, and comments, and so on and so forth). 99.5% of the time, I'd really prefer to just stay out of stuff like this, but I guess here's where the .5% of the time where I feel the need to actually do something comes in.
I feel like there are a lot of misconceptions swirling around in the "DD community". Misconceptions about me and my marriage and misconceptions about DD in general (usually from those who have never practiced or heard of DD before, and that's understandable).
These are just 4 of them, but I'm sure there's many more, and I will maybe get to those in the future. But, for now, here's my take on 4 of the "why you practicing DD is so horrible" reasons that I hear all the time (and I'm getting a little sick of it).
Misconception #1: "You haven't been practicing DD long enough to give advice".
Just when I think the world is getting smarter, I see this statement.
There is no rule saying "you have to be practicing domestic discipline for over __ years in order to give advice", first off.
Secondly, I think the length of time isn't necessarily what dictates whether the advice is good or not. People come to me/us and ask for advice, and I/we give it out. I've asked numerous DD friends/people in the community for advice over the years and some of the best advice I've gotten has come from those who have only been practicing DD for a few months, while other good advice has come from those practicing for over 20-something years.
To clear it up: My husband and I have been practicing DD for over 4 years. I'm almost positive that some people think we started practicing after we got married (which has been almost 2 years ago..) but we haven't. We have been together for several years, began practicing DD 4 years ago, and got married almost 2 years ago. If that doesn't meet peoples "qualificiations" I don't know what to tell you. :(
Misconception #2: DD is abuse.
My husband wrote (what I consider to be an excellent) blog entry on that here.
Misconception #3: Women in domestic discipline have no freedom.
Speaking personally, I have plenty of freedom. I'm allowed to make whatever choice, or decision, I want to. But, some of the choices/decisions have consequences behind them. Still, no one (except me) is stopping me from doing whatever I want to do, when I want to do it, and how I want to do it. What DOES stop me is the fear of consequence, thus why domestic discipline works so well.
I can't speak for all women in DD relationships because I know everyone practices domestic discipline differently. But, in every DD relationship I've seen, the wife is free to make whatever decisions she wants. There is plenty of freedom involved.
Misconception #4: It makes the women feel degraded.
Unless degraded means loved, cherished, and protected, then that would be incorrect.
Once again, I can't speak for all women in DD marriages because it's very possible that somewhere out there there is a woman in a non-consensual DD relationship who feels that way. But, for everyone I know, that couldn't be further from the truth.
I think one of the best things about domestic discipline is the emotional feelings involved with it. For me, it makes me feel protected and loved. That would be the furthest thing from degraded.