Our first vacation since we had our son = total success! We had a blast. It was an adjustment waking up this morning and not having the beach 10 steps from our bedroom, but we'll be ok. :-) Although I'm not super happy to be back to "real life" now and really don't want my husband to return to work tomorrow, we had an awesome time and can't wait for our next trip.
My "one year of no punishment" challenge (that I created for myself, lol) is well underway. I started it 2 weeks ago (after this) and so far so good! Even though it's only been about 2 weeks, it's going great. I haven't even had any warnings since then! Success! Only 50 more weeks to go.
In other news, I'm once again way behind on emails. If you emailed me recently (or, since like April, lol) I am going to work on getting back with you this week. I know I also have a lot of comments that have went without a response so I will work on catching up on that as well. Also, I haven't forgotten about my weekly roundups either. :-)
I've got a few posts scheduled for this week (and upcoming weeks) but if there's something specific you'd like to see, feel free to leave in a comment.
Although I miss being on vacation, it feels great to be back. :-)
Enjoy the rest of your weekend everyone!
-Chelsea
Hi Chelsea I really want to thank you for your replies It is really good to have a woman to speak to. I printed out the material and put it in a book beside his side of the bed. He still has not mentioned it and I have added antother article that is a wee bit more because it goes into the spanking side of things its from the same site and it is the artile referred to in the first article of CDD ' what your wife is really saying' I have read some of your stuff will go through again. Also yesterday I really mucked up -maybe its as well for my rear end if he hasnt read the stuff because I was a real brat!!! I really felt even when it was happening that I was doing wrong you just have no idea how awful my temper is. I think things have cooled down but I think this is going to delay me talking to him. I want to let the dust settle I don't want to blow it. and yet deep down I know what the answer to all this is I have read so mucn I am converted in that sense!!! I would rather a 1000 times to have endured the pain of a really hard spanking (even if as yet it has never happened to me) than what happened yesterday. Please pray for me and oh please thank your husband too he has been a real inspiration to me as well. Need to go to bed now jsut home from night duty and need some sleep Ps can you tell me of any contacts in Ireland as thats where I am from particularly in Northern Ireland.
ReplyDeleteLoL and thanks again
Jane
Ps now I don't feel so very alone!
Jane,
DeleteMy first recommendation is to actually talk to him about domestic discipline. Printing out information is going to be, without a doubt, helpful. But, just leaving it for him to stumble upon, read, and digest by himself isn't a very good idea (in my opinion). You two are going to need to have a conversation about it, and it's more than likely going to need to be started by you it appears.
My advice would be to sit down with him and just flat out ask him what his thoughts on the information he's read thus far is. You need to give him the opportunity to ask questions, express concerns, etc. and you also need to be able to have the opportunity to express to him verbally why you want this, or why you feel it would be helpful.
Let me know how it goes! I wish you both the best.
-Chelsea
Hi Jane, I'm Liz from NY. I gave my husband the same article from CDD! Chelsea and Clint are truly inspiring. I know I need my husband to take charge. I am very good most of the time but when I lose it, I really lose it and it would be so great if he knew he could stop me and the situation by just taking control. Since you are also just presenting this to your husband could you tell me how you will respond when he asks you about spanking? I don't like this part! I don't like pain, who does? Yet, I don't know if this works without consequences. I'm confused. Are you?
ReplyDeleteHi Liz. Thanks for the compliment!
DeleteI know your comment is directed towards Jane, but I wanted to chime in for a minute if I may.
I think a lot of new people place a high emphasis on spanking, and I can understand that because, in a lot of ways, it's the "scariest part" of domestic discipline. It's definitely the hardest part to digest.
Most people don't like pain, but that is why it's so effective. If it works how it's supposed to, the spankings should be rare.
Domestic discipline will not work without consequences. However, would it work without spanking? I'm not sure. There are a lot of people who have domestic discipline marriages yet never include the spanking element. So, it's something you could definitely try if you wanted to experiment for yourself how it would work. Let me know, I'm curious!
-Chelsea
Hi Liz
ReplyDeleteI am very very new to this and definately not sure I can answer your questions. I have never been punished but we have been playful with spanking and I have previously asked my husband for punishment for bad behaviour but he was always very opposed to it. I have given him the article as I felt and know that it says what I feel I have wanted and needed for a long time, and it really put it into the words I never could have. If he actually said he was actually going to spank me as a punishment I think i would faint but I have waited for this for so long I think the only thing I could do would be to submit, even if he was doning it for sI hope I could submit even if i fetl scarred or afraid of the pain as indeed I would be. Anyway as you read about this it really only takes a very short while to realize that CDD or DD or whatever you want to call it - is about so much more than spanking. My understanding for what it is worth is that it is really about submission and control being given over to your husband - or head of house and it involves communication, trust, honesty and love for each other. My husband hasn't given me any response yet but I am going to approach him just sort of praying and thinking about it Just want to do it casually as so not to cause conflict or put him off. I don't know if domestic discipline can work without spanking that's a question for Chelsea maybe she can enlighten us if it would because some sites seem to suggest it can - ie that if you truly submitt you have to trust and honour the decision of the head of house to discipline as when and how they decide - the submissive wife submits to the discipline but is not in control of the how and when. I don't know if this helps I am very humbled at anyone asking me a question woah!!! So hope I got it right Chelsea please can you fill in or advise Liz Tell you what though its a wee bit spooky how someone else who seems to want this for the same reason ie loosing control gives their husband the self same article. If I am being spiritual about this well its getting even more just don't know what to say. Well thats all I can say except Happy 4th July to you both enjoy whatever it is you guys do today.
Lots of Love
Jane
Jane,
DeleteCan you link what article you (and Liz) are referring to? I'm curious to see what it says.
You bring up a lot of excellent points, by the way.
-Chelsea
hi jane and chelsea,
ReplyDeleteit is very strange that we both gave husbands the same article- thats what made write to you. ive never participated in this blog, or any other. ive been a lurker for about three weeks. thats when i googled for help with my emotional turnmoil at feeling like a terrible wife for being disrepectful to my husband. he yelled back but the whole incident just felt so wrong. i love him and i want to give him the gift of his rightful place and my "submission" to his judgement. In actuality, he is usually right and he always puts me first but there are times that for no reason, i argue and demean him. its not pretty. i feel that he has no recourse and i know he should. he may not take me up on this though. i find it doubtful that he'll ever spank me and i'm really, really afraid to mention it. i think he'll think im out of my mind or maybe worse, accept! its nice you at least have some "experience" even if it was just for "fun." my hubby has never even slapped or even tapped my bottom as a joke. after three weeks of reading all i could find, i think i want this. weird!! i work as a high level executive at a prestigious financial institution in NYC. I hold several advanced degrees. I am an independent, strong, fairly wealthy woman and still, i want my husband to take charge. It's against ALL ive been taught!! and it is against all he has been taught too. why??? wasn't there a time when men were allowed to lead and women were allowed to choose to follow without judgement? Did misguided feminism take this away from all of us? Is this part of the demise of society? why can't i be strong and successful in the work force and still be a lady and treated as such? sorry for running on... im frustrated and trying to get it out here so when hubby arrives after work, i dont nag him about all this (ive been nagging him to read the CDD article "what she is really saying") he thinks its too long and says he doesn't get why im looking for issues where there arent any. "we are happy" maybe not...
Liz,
DeleteThe first step (admitting that there's a problem) is a big one and the fact that you've taken that is huge.
The fear you have about your spouse thinking that you're crazy is one that almost everyone has. However, I will say that if it's presented in the right way/worded in the right way/discussed in the right way the chances of that happening are really slim.
Like I told Jane, the best advice I have though is you two are going to need to sit down and have an open dialogue conversation in order for this to work. Communication is a huge part of DD, and that needs to start before DD even begins.
There's a 3 part series on my blog about talking to your spouse about domestic discipline. Maybe that will help?
-Chelsea
Chelsea, thank you. I am going to read your post on how to present this to him and give it my best shot.
ReplyDeleteIf you'd like to read what Jane and I sent to our husbands go to CDD site- that's Christian Domestic Discipline and go to the husbands tab. It's very informative. The writer is a woman and she verbalized what I am to scared to say.
Hi Chelsea and Liz
ReplyDeleteThanks once again for your reply. Liz and I both gave our husbands the article from the CDD site called 'What your wife is really saying' but I also gave my husband one called 'Begining CDD Rules from a CDD womon to husbands who are new to CDD. http://www.christiandomesticdiscipline.com/beginning-cdd-rules-from-cdd-woman.html Think that is how you link not sure not good at this really tech bits If it doesnt work go to CDD site choose the husbands bit like liz said and then the 'UNDERSTANDING' BOX and then the title above for the second article
both articles are actually there I have just realized. I dont live in USA so we don't have 4th July in Nothern Ireland hope you had a good time.
All the best for now will be interested to see what you think about this.
I am still mucking things up i really snapped tonight I understand what liz says i feel rotten when i answer back and forgive the word bitcy its used a lot over in ireland - (and its not really considered a swear word) sometimes really hate myself and i hate myself for messing up because when i am disrespectful i feel it delays me being able to talk to my husband liz is braver than me my husband hasnt responded to been given the article it is just sitting beside his side of the bed and he has moved it over on top of a pile of papers it had been with a book he was reading which he finished and he put it on top of some papers so i really dont know if he has even read it.
Liz i am a humble student not in anything high powered at all but i will when i graduate be hoping to do a job that will require me to make decisions that are life and death and to take on a lot of responsibilty for my own actiona and for other people's lives - hopefully i will be a registered nurse.
I can't get over the similarities between us i know the fustration and the fear and the worry about being thought crazy so you are not the only one who feels that and your not crazy.. Don't nag i don't know your husband but if i nag mine and i do sometimes but somethings not this - because if i nag it really puts him more determined not to do something or go somewhere or whatever so be careful Have a read at that other article about begining CDD the one i spoke about earlier - its all about taking your time -- I need to preach this to myself - maybe its is good to get things out and be able to be honest here in this place -- and I hope you don't mind Chelsea - anyway i have gone on too long so its now 00.42 in the morning - maybe i need my husband to tell me when to go to bed - actually sometimes he does and I usually snap back - how i wish really that i had to obey, I am trying to i think i have an awful lot to learn and i will be in a lot of truouble in the begining if we ever get started. I suppose some people would say enjoy your freedom while you still have it - i am a bit sick or it and thats the weird bit
well good nite both
and God Bless
Jane