I wouldn't say that I have a lot of rules. They're all the pretty standard ones, and nothing too out of the ordinary. They're all rules that I think just about every marriage has, in some form - be respectful, be honest, listen, stuff like that. Above all else though is the "don't do anything dangerous" rule.
When you break that rule twice in one week would anyone like to take a guess the enormous amount of trouble that a person would be in? Because that's precisely what happened.
I'm very anti-texting while driving. But, my husband is even more anti texting while driving and I understand why. It's dangerous, and honestly, after reading the stats on it (which I should have done before I did such a stupid thing!) I'm shocked that the entire world hasn't made it illegal yet.
Last week, on two separate occasions (back to back days) I sent a text message while driving. While this might not sound like a big deal, it was. Not that it's ok to text while driving anywhere, anytime, but it's definitely worse to do so on the freeway, in traffic. Bottom line- bad idea.
My husband didn't find out until after both texting while driving incidents happened, and needless to say, he wasn't happy (although he was still more calm than I expected). In fact, I actually titled this blog entry before the punishments even happened because I knew it would be bad.
To cut to the chase, I got in a lot of trouble. Texting while driving once is bad enough, but twice is even worse.
If I break a spankable rule but my husband can't do the spanking like normal for whatever the reason is, we do shorter ones each night that sort of reminds me that I'm still in trouble for the offense. By short, I'm talking short reminders that sting but thankfully the sting doesn't last longer than 20 minutes or so. So, in this situation, I got "nightly reminder spankings" (that's the term I've kind of coined for them, but there may be a better name or an official term out there, I don't know) for a few nights before I actually got punished just due to the circumstances of our week (we had a lot going on, and were extremely busy). Needless to say, these nighty reminder spankings made the punishment worse because it's like a constant reminder that you're still in trouble (and big trouble at that!) which I guess is the point. But still, it sucked.
I ended this "punishment week" as I call it with 2 spankings- 1 for each texting while driving offense, and several nightly reminder spankings. All in all, I got spanked every night last week for one thing or another (texting while driving, or nightly reminders). I'm telling you guys/girls- worst. spanking. ever.
Did it suck? That's an understatement. Was it worth it? Absolutely no way on this earth. Did I learn from it? Yes x 1,000,000. Am I glad it's over? Ya'll have no idea.
So, if anyone out there does text while driving (while you're in a DD relationship or not, since I know lots of people from "both sides of the fence" read my blog) please don't. Seriously, just think about this.
- Answering a text message takes away your attention from the road for approximately 5 seconds. That is enough time for your car to travel an entire football field. (Click here for source)
- Texting while driving increases your chance of causing a car accident, or getting in a car accident, by 23 times what your risk would be if you were not texting while driving. (Click here for source)
- For every 6 seconds of drive time, a person texting while driving spends approximately 4.6 of those seconds with their eyes off the road. (Click here for source)
- Texting while driving or being distracted by your cell phone causes a drivers reaction to be the same as if you had a blood alcohol level of .08% (aka- enough for a DUI) (Click here for source)
There's also this video, which is extremely powerful. If you text while driving, seriously, I'm begging you to stop. It's not fair to you, your family, your friends, your children, your spouse, or anyone else on the road.
The spanking may have been hard, the lecture may have been long, the decision may have been stupid (really stupid)..but it was, hands down, better than the alternative.
So, now I'm restarting my "one year of no punishment!" streak. Everyone wish me luck. :-) I'm totally determined to do this.
Everyone have an amazing week, and remember, don't text while driving!
Yikes, that's scary stuff. Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome! It really is scary.
Delete-Chelsea
Oh, my goodness...I JUST got spanked for that...it had never REALLY been a rule for us, but the other night, Steven was driving behind me and saw me swerving while I texted...he was...less than thrilled, and I was promised quite a punishment if he should hear that I was doing it again. I protested, only to have him say that it was tolerable when he didn't see how poorly it affected my driving....
ReplyDeleteTwo days later, boom. I wasn't thinking, shot off a text--I swear I was sooo close to home--and went straight off the road and into a yard. Now, nothing happened really--my car is fine, I was fine, didn't even really scuff up the yard...BUT.
By backside currently is NOT fine, and I will NOT be making that mistake again. All that to say-feel for ya!
Sorry you got spanked for the same thing! Wish I would have put up this entry earlier..maybe it would have saved you from getting spanked! :-)
DeleteI'm glad you're ok!
-Chelsea
This isn't currently a rule for us either, but my H has begun warning me about it. We have a new driver in the family, so rules about driving are being noted daily.
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling this will be a spankable offense for me soon, and although I used to shrug it off, I now see how important it is.
I used to shrug it off too before I realized how important it really is. Even if it isn't a rule for you, I highly recommend you be careful..texting while driving can be dangerous for everyone on the road.
DeleteI'm glad you see how important it is!
-Chelsea
I'm glad its over for you and really hope you don't repeat it. Since we text a lot, hope it wasn't from me or to me that you were involved in a text while driving.
ReplyDeleteStay SAFE!
Definitely won't repeat it.
DeleteIt wasn't texts to you, by the way. Although we do text a lot. :-)
-Chelsea
Wow, it seems like you REALLY learned a lesson. Those statistics are crazy scary and should make everyone think twice! I know I certainly will.
ReplyDeleteThey really are crazy. I had no idea it was THAT dangerous. And, those stats I posted were only a few out of hundreds of scary ones I found.
Delete-Chelsea
Glad it is "behind" you. Thanks for stats...scary stuff...Lynn
ReplyDeleteI'm glad too Lynn. Trust me, totally glad. :-)
Delete-Chelsea
Wow, this text actually made me feel like cring. I've never texted while driving, my HOH hasn't, and I don't think our daughter ever will after comming to work with us. Answering your phone while driving is just as deadly. When you are the one to put them into the bag and close it up while their phone is still ringing for the 19th time, you never forget it. I've done this personally. It breaks your heart, and all you can think of is, How can this have been woth it??? My hands almost shake when I even think about a person doing this. I'm sooooo happy to hear that your've learned your lesson. Thanks for adding the video and being brave enough to post this.
ReplyDeleteYou bring up a great point- talking on the phone while driving is extremely dangerous as well, and there are a lot of scary stats and videos relating to that as well. Thanks for mentioning that! I overlooked it while doing the stats for this entry.
DeleteIt definitely wasn't worth it, you're totally right. Never, ever again.
-Chelsea
Unfortunately I have been there (she hangs her head in shame). This is also a major thing in our household, though you can be prosecuted for it in the UK, they just pin you for 'driving without due care and attention'.
ReplyDeleteThe good new for you is, that if you are like me, after the wooping I received after doing it, I have never done it again, and it must have been a good year ago, HOORAY!
C
In most states here in the US, it's illegal as well. However, in my opinion, it should be illegal in every US state (and worldwide).
DeleteI'm glad you were able to stop doing it...I definitely don't plan to ever do it again either. Ever.
-Chelsea
I also have the same no texting and driving rule from my husband. I admit I'v done it a few times when he hasn't been with me knowing he wouldn't find out. But I don't anymore since he caught me one day when I pulled into the driveway. OMG it was horrible also. I couldn't sit for like 4 days. But I agree with you, the alternitive: me dead or killing someone else is not the better choice. I'm sorry you got a bad spanking and glad you chose to tell us and the links are really educational. We have great husbands!
ReplyDeleteAlthough at the time it probably didn't seem like it, the fact that he caught you may have been a GOOD thing because it could have saved your life or the life of anyone else on the road.
DeleteYou're right, the alternative is WAYYYY worse. And, definitely, our husbands are awesome! :-)
-Chelsea
Oh and if you or anyone would also like to read my blog, feel free. It's not much right now though..
ReplyDeleteI will definitely check it out!
Delete-Chelsea
As adults, I would think you ladies know better. It ticks me off to see people in the freeway texting, not paying attention, endangering my life or the passengers in my car.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you have kids in your car, what are you telling them? The same goes for talking on the phone whole driving or speeding, running stop signs...you get the picture.
You're right. It isn't a good example for kids, or anyone else in the car/on the road, to see.
DeleteIt definitely worries me..hence, the reason for this post.
-Chelsea
I'm very happy the issue has been resolved and forgiven.
ReplyDeleteAlso, thank you for the stats on texting while driving - it's one of my pet peeves and I plan on sharing these with a few "hard heads".
But to me, one of the most important lessons of this post is your honesty. If I understand correctly, you admitted you broke the rules (TWICE!)knowing there would be major consequences. Many people (DD and non-DD) would have said to themselves "Ok I broke the rule, will never do that again, happy I didn't get caught". I really admire the fact that you 'fessed up. That speaks volumes for your relationship.
Hope your new "year of no punishment" is successful.
Cat,
DeleteYes, please do share the stats! The more that know, the better.
I think honesty plays a huge part in any marriage, including one where DD is incorporated. It can be really hard at times to confess, but I really encourage others to do the same. Especially in situations like this. :-)
My year of no punishment is now two weeks into the challenge and doing great so far. Thanks for the support!
-Chelsea
Hi what a time you must have had I think if we ever get going this would be a rule for us but I think its mad to text and drive anyway. However i answer the phone which is just as bad so maybe i need that rule no answering the phone. I do it occasionally even when i know its dangerous and that its wrong - also you can get penatly points on your licence and that effects your insurance and if you get 12 points you loose your licence and have do the test again - it took me ages to get mine so I really want to thank you for your post it puts shivers down my spine and its was a good reminder not to do these things,
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your new year
Jane.
Jane,
DeleteTalking on the phone while driving can be dangerous and a distraction as well. Thanks for mentioning that! Also, I forgot to include the penalties that can go on your license/insurance. Thanks for mentioning that as well.
Thanks for the support!
-Chelsea
Is it not illegal where you are? It was made illegal here pretty much as soon as mobile (cell) phones came onto the market in the 1990s. I’m so bad at texting I couldn’t do it anyway – I need both hands and all my concentration!
ReplyDeleteTexting while driving is illegal where we live (North Carolina) but in some states it isn't.
DeleteThis site has the list of state laws regarding texting while driving. http://www.ghsa.org/html/stateinfo/laws/cellphone_laws.html
-Chelsea
Thanks Chelsea... Always an important reminder of how quickly our lives can be taken from us. Glad Clint loves you enough to make sure you don't do this again.
ReplyDeleteI once went a whole year with out beings spanked .... It was the year we took a break from DD! Ha
Lol! A year is still a long time to follow all the rules regardless of the circumstances. Good job!
Delete-Chelsea
In CT eating and drinking while driving is against the law so it's no surprise that many states have added 'no texting' along with the rules. We have a no cell phone while driving so I'm pretty sure texting which can only be done on a phone (?) would be covered.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I am amazed at what I see people doing - full on laptops, brushing their hair, reading a novel...glad that you will not do that anymore!
Here's to day one of the new year!
Fondly,
Addy
Addy,
DeleteIf NC doesn't have a "no eating while driving" rule yet, they should! I see people eating ALL the time while driving and most times their hands aren't even on the wheel at all! It's ridiculous.
Texting while driving is illegal in CT, as well as talking on the phone, by the way according to http://www.ghsa.org/html/stateinfo/laws/cellphone_laws.html
-Chelsea
Hi Chelsea
ReplyDeleteKnow you are on hols at the moment, I just watched the video you attached to this it made me shake = I have been in a really bad car crash it had nothing to do with texting the other driver fell asleep at the wheel and came unto my side of the road at speed I had no time to react so I was very lucky - or maybe I should say someone was looking after me. It makes me shudder that something like that could be caused by texting It takes all my concentration to text so cannot imagine foing it while driving.
On another note I have finally gotten the courage to give my husband some of the information re dd. I did that on tuesday night but so far he has said absoultely nothing to me about it. I will keep in touch with you and let your know what happens hopefully things will progress by the time you ar back from holiday. (If you are confused I posted a comment on your previous blogg) If anyone can give me any advice how long I should leave it before I ask him what he thinks about it that would be great or should I just let it ride and see what happens I just don't want to put pressure on him and yet I sort of feel I should do something???
Well bye for now
Regards
Jane.
Jane,
DeleteThe video is really scary, you're right. It's kind of hard to watch, but that's the point. It makes you think. I'm so sorry to hear about your car accident. I've been in a few as well (non-texting related) and it's definitely a scary thing. I hope you're alright.
In terms of your question..
How did you give him the information (verbally, print off information and hand it to him, leave it somewhere for him to stumble upon, etc)? That makes a difference.
In general though, I would recommend giving it a few more days then sitting down with him and getting his thoughts on it. Don't put pressure on him, just have a casual conversation and see where his head is at with it, and what concerns/questions (if any) that he has.
-Chelsea
Scary scary! That is why I don't do it unless I am standing at a red light. Yikes!
ReplyDeleteI'm not even allowed to text at red lights! Lol!
Delete-Chelsea
This has always been a rule for us. I am not to text while driving and if I must take a call I am to use hands free or pull over. I am horrible at thinking Oh I can send a quick message and was always in trouble. Something I found at a little convenience store is a little stretchie thumb ring that says No texting that visual reminder helped. I still pick up my phone at times but put it down. My husband is right No matter How important that message may seem my life is more important.
DeleteHi chelsea, I'm sorry to hear about your spanking, however, it is wonderful that you have learned from it. I was wondering how Clint found out about the textings? Did you voluntarily tell him or does he review your phone? How was it your worst spanking? how long was it and with what instrument? I've gotten spanked pretty hard with a wooden spoon for a good long 30 minutes on my bare bottom for talking on the phone while driving; I did not confess but he saw me doing it as he happened to see me out the window on the road pulling in to the driveway talking on my cell, and it hurt a lot; I could not for sit for awhile. Texting or talking on the phone or speeding etc are serious spanking offenses. I also get grounded from my car for 2 days for each driving offense. It is horrible but I certainly learn my lesson from the punishment and the studies have taught be the dangers as well. Your input would be much appreciated. I enjoy your blog very much and it is very helpful; I hope you will meet your one year goal too!:)
ReplyDeleteI have the same questions as Anonymous on July 8th.
ReplyDelete