Friday, September 23, 2011

Boot Camp From The Women's Perspective

It's been awhile since I went through domestic discipline boot camp (like, well over a year). But, I got some requests for this entry, and so I thought I would write it anyway.

Boot camp, in one word, is rough. There's a lot of pros to it (which I will list in a second) but that doesn't mean it isn't still pretty challenging. However, I'm pretty sure it was meant to suck because the point is to learn lessons from it so that you never have to do boot camp again. And, I'm pretty proud to say that I haven't had to go through boot camp again and hopefully never will (although, I'm pretty sure with my latest stunt, I came pretty close).

If you haven't gone through DD boot camp yet, but you and your spouse are planning on's my warning that it's pretty intense. For me, it was more emotionally intense I think, but for others I've heard that it's physically terrible. And, it is. Don't get me wrong. But emotionally, it makes you think a lot about yourself (which I hate doing) and the homework assignments within boot camp are pretty thought provoking and emotionally charged.

Despite the pretty intense spankings and the homework assignments (after just having been spanked..), I wouldn't take back the boot camp experience (I can't believe I just typed that, actually). But seriously, I wouldn't. It really added strength to my marriage, and improved my domestic discipline outlook and relationship as well. In addition to that, it built an unbreakable level of trust between my husband and I, and that, especially when using domestic discipline in your marriage, is key.

As strange as it sounds, I really didn't think I could love my husband any more..until we did boot camp. The side of him that I saw, although it was strict, was amazing. He took charge of situations where I'm pretty sure he didn't want to, he spanked me harder than I'm sure he wanted to (which taught me the ever so valuable lesson of "it could always be worse", which now makes me cooperate with every spanking I get to make it not get to that point..ever), and the list goes on.

So yeah, boot camp is rough. But, if you can get through a couple days (or, however long you do it for) of intense emotional and physical battles, it's so worth it in the end. It improves your marriage, even when you already think it's amazing, and it really changes your behavior (seriously, I'm pretty sure I didn't get in trouble, at all for like a good 4-6 months after boot camp. *sigh* those were the days..).

The best advice I have to someone getting ready to do boot camp within their marriage is the following..
  • Trust your spouse.
  • Find the positive in it. (It's there, you just have to look).
  • Look at it as a learning experience.
  • Look at it as a chance to not only strengthen your marriage, but also yourself. For both the husbands, and the wives, it pushes you to a lot of different're going to be amazed at the strength you have, and your spouse has.
  • Just cooperate. Trust me, it's way easier that way.
If you've already done boot camp, hopefully you were able to see the same results that I have, or at least can look back on it and find the positive within it. I'd love to hear your views on how it went for you and your spouse. :)

As always, if you have any questions, feel free.


  1. Where can I learn more about how to create a bootcamp experience?

  2. I too would like to know more about this bootcamp. Is there an outline of how to proceed, for both the husband and wife, that we can copy and use?

    Chelsea, I love your blog, and Clint's as well. Kudos to you two for being brave enough to share, give a social circle of support, and in turn help those of us living the lifestyle!

  3. yes please can we have some more information about how to set up a boot camp - and is it just for subs or can it be adapted for both HOH and subs? Thanks.

  4. Yikes. I have no desire for it..the idea freaks me out. But, I think my whole life is boot camp- hee hee.

    I'd love to hear more about your experiences though.


  5. My HOH and I are trying to do this this coming weekend. EEK!! But we've asked around and found little information as to how to create homework assignments or examples of assignments? Love your blog Chelsea!

  6. Anonymous: A friend introduced my husband to the idea of DD boot camp, so that's where we first heard about it. I'm not real comfortable posting like the exact outline and everything on my blog (it would create a firestorm, I think, lol) but if you want to email me (my email is on the Contact Me page) I can send you some information about it when I get a chance.

    Lisa: See above response ^ and also, thank you!

    Kiwi: It can definitely be adapted however you want.

    Stormy: I know, the idea of it is pretty crazy, and scary, lol.

    Ashley Marie: Good luck this weekend! If you want to email my husband (his email is on his Learning DD blog) he has all the homework assignment examples that he could send you.


  7. Did you both know the same amount of detail about the upcoming spankings in Boot Camp, or was it one of those things where you knew that the next spanking was going to be a Severe Spanking but he had been told the details if what that meant (implements, counts, breaks)?

  8. question: I purchased the DD boot camp book, and I think we are going to try it. However, we are tailoring it to our situation as well. My question is, as someone who works in social work and therapy every day, why force the "homework sessions" to be uncomfortable and distracting for the wife? It seems like adding that element wouldn't help you get into your feelings, it would distract from them. It didn't explain in the pamphlet why, so I wondered at the point of that part. We are trying to decide whether to use that or not.

    Also, we found the homework assignments to be one sided, focusing on only the women's faults, when this seemed a perfect opportunity for my HOH to also feel safe to discuss emotions and faults. We'll be changing those assignments, but just wanted to provide that feedback.

    1. ok... we re-read the "balance object" session, and can see that it is to prepare for post spanking in real life. Wow...I think I can handle that without practicing it, so we'll be leaving that out, because we really want to be able to focus on the feelings in our hearts, not the feeling in my butt, when we do the assignments. however, to each his own. Thanks!