Thursday, December 1, 2011

It's never too late.

Since this blog is a mix of things (from a journal, to giving advice, to everything in between) I want to post about something. This blog is actually dedicated to someone in particular, but still, I hope everyone gets something from it.

Dear J,

I'm an extremely easy person to talk to. If you don't take anything else away from this entry, please know this: honesty will get you further in life then anything else. There's never a moment where it's "too late" to be honest.

From the beginning when I was introduced to you, I thought you were cool. I didn't have a problem with you. Despite what you may think, I don't blame you for inquiring so much about DD so that hopefully, when you're in a relationship one day, you learn something from what you've asked me, and what you've been given about DD.

The real you that I got to know was a lot better then the 4 (at least, and that I know of) "fake" you's that I've experienced over the last few months. It is NOT too late to change. It's NOT too late to come to me and just admit that the lying, manipulative, backstabbing.. (I could go on and on) behavior you've shown towards me, and others, was wrong.

I won't judge you for it. I won't even ask any questions. I will help you "re-intergrate" into the networks of people you've lied to and deceived. I promise. Just PLEASE be honest and cut the "hi my name is so and so" crap. Please. Because not only can I not take it any more, but its not fair to me to make me sit here and pretend i have no idea what's going on.

I've went through a range of emotions about this. I've been sad that someone would deceive me like that. I've been pissed off that someone would completely insult my intelligence by thinking that all the false identities you assume aren't really you. Ive been hurt that I was lied to. I've been through them all, and more. But what I've taken from this is that forgiveness, no matter who it's from or what happened, is the strongest thing you can do.

J, I'm giving you a chance that I don't have to give you. I could "out" you to everyone you've been lying to. I'm choosing to help you and to forgive you. Please, give me that chance. Please just be honest with me. Please trust me that I won't judge you, I won't even ask any questions. Just be honest.

If you choose to totally ignore this, that's fine. However, in 4 day (on Sunday the 4th) if i haven't heard anything from you, it's going to show me that you have zero intent on ever changing this crap, apologizing, or taking any sort of step to make it right. At that time, you're kinda leaving me no choice but to delete, block, suspend or remove all your accounts that I can, as well as completely block the multiple IP addresses you use and take every single effort in the world to ensure you can never, ever do this again. Please don't make me do that. I'm reaching out to you, and I'm offering to help. I'm offering you a chance to make this right with me. It can stay between us.

You know how to reach me (email is probably best. Just click "contact me"). It's never too late to be honest. Please, let me help you.



This blog may be directed towards one person, but it is written for everyone. Forgiveness is a powerful tool and honesty is a powerful trait. It can be hard to forgive someone (trust me, I'm aware) and it takes time. There are also circumstances when it can be hard to be honest and I understand that. But it's never too late to forgive someone, or be honest with someone.

This blog may not have any meaning whatsoever for some of you and that's fine. But I wanted to post it because it's my way of publicly reaching out to someone who really needs it. It's never too late.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


  1. Wow Chelsea, this is one of the saddest posts I have ever read. I'm not sure if you are referring to someone who is in the DD community or not. I just know that my husband is really been skeptical and warns me repeatedly not to do or say anything that could possible identify who I am. We have benefited from both yours and Clint's sights. We had no idea there was a name for what we were doing, we have never heard of DD till we saw Clint's sight. Stay strong and know that I will pray for you and I hope that this situation resolves in a positive way. And way to go on being honest yourself and not letting someone continue in this negative way.

  2. Nodding my head in total agreement!

  3. It is sad and we can't know where other folks are coming from and the hurt they might be living in. I think your attitude is great and your desire to forgive and still help is wonderful. I know you'll be careful as you do that.

  4. Hello Chelsea this is "J" I want to do something you probably won't expect. I want to thank you for writing this post, and I want to thank you for your forgivness. You are right, I have not been 100% honest with you or the other members of your network. I want to apologize to you and the other members. As you know I am not married, I am a single guy. I wanted to learn more about DD and talk to others about it so I lied when I joined your site. I didn't think I would be accepted as a single male. Please know I did not do this to make you look stupid or to cause you any type of hurt in anyway. It was not meant to be malisious or part of some devious plan. Please accept my apologies. I just wanted to check out your social network and do it with some anonymity. I didn't want all these people from all over the world who could be anyone and I don't know them to know too much personal information about me, so I created an online persona. For what it's worth I met some great people everyone on there is great, starting with you. I do consider you a friend. When we all chatted in there and talked about things that weren't DD related, and we were all having a good time. That is the "real" me. I hope you like the real me, cause I liked the real you. Please do me a favor and just delete my profile on the network if you want to, that is probably the best thing to do. I don't belong on there. To everyone on there I met, I wish you nothing but the best, and to you Chelsea I wish you nothing but success and happiness in the future. I hope your network grows and keeps going strong for years. It is a great tool to promote the healthy, correct, and positive way to practice DD. It is also a wonderful place for those that practice DD, to come together and exchange ideas. I'll probably never talk to you again. Perhaps one day I will rejoin (if you'll have me) but it will be under the proper circumstances when I actually am in a DD relationship. Again I'm very sorry for any hassle this caused you. Please live well and have a wonderful life.

  5. Congratulations J on being honest! Care to go one step further and confirm which profile(s) you are using on network?

  6. J, can you email me please? I want to talk to you but not over comments. Thanks!



  8. Chelsea, how did you figure this all out? My husband is being really cautious and is worried that there are more people out there that are fake. I like to chat on the network but he insists that absolutely no personal information be shared. I made a friend on the network and wanted to text her and all and he just freaked out because he says that how do you know that this person is for real. He seems to think that if I was a 13 year old girl I would have already been kidnapped lol. But seriously, is there a way that we know that the people we are talking to are for real. I know when I signed up for the network I had to give personal information for the billing but does anyone ever see that? Sorry for making this post so long. Thanks