Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Experimenting: Lets See If DD Really Works - How It All Began Part 2

So here it was. My experiment to see if domestic discipline would actually work for my ridiculous procrastination habit was underway. I thought that agreeing to try domestic discipline with my husband would make me feel more calm and "less in control" (I hate being in control) but that wasn't the case (at least not at first). Instead, I just felt all nervous and jittery- not calm at all. 

When it came time for my first punishment (spanking) for my awful procrastination habit, I was already kicking myself for even bringing up an idea such as domestic discipline. I was a little shocked, and honestly not very happy, that my husband had actually decided to go through with this. He was really going to spank me, and the emotions I felt were all over the board. I think I was mostly scared, but still, the curiosity I had was in full force. I was still dying to know if this would actually work. If it did, I vowed to do whatever I could to keep something so "magical" (for lack of a better word) in my marriage. If it didn't, I vowed to go back to hating the concept of domestic discipline forever and thinking it was the worst idea I'd ever heard of.

The spanking was light, and over with in a flash. I think we were both still pretty nervous about this entire concept, so we definitely didn't jump in with both feet right away (and, honestly, I'm glad we didn't, looking back on it).Even though it was quick and didn't hurt that bad at all, I immediately saw a transformation. It was almost like each of those few swats broke down the walls and problems a little at a time. When it was over, and my husband held me, it was like we reconnected on a whole different level. There was something about this concept that I once thought was awful, abusing, ridiculous, and stupid that actually worked. 

In addition to literally transforming me into what I think is a better person, it actually worked. Just that one spanking made me completely change my views on procrastinating. I became the "I'll get it done when I feel like it, or whenever I remember, or whenever it's convenient for me" type of person to the "I'll do it now, so I don't have to worry about it anymore" type of person. It not only helped me, but it helped my marriage in more ways than I even thought was possible.

So now, 3 years after my little experiment, I'm one of DD's biggest supporters (well, "closet supporter" as I like to say, since I'm really not real open about the topic yet. But I'm working on it!). This thing called domestic discipline has changed my life, my marriage, and my outlook on things in so many ways. 


  1. We are very new to the DD thing. I was introduced to it in an unorthodox way. Long story I would be glad to share privately. We have been doing this since April. Started off very clumsy, but seem to be in groove. He was a little apprehensive at first. Concerned about the whole concept, to hurting me, and being consistent. Being consistent has been our biggest struggle, and most confusing. Overall, took him a while to be more in charge. I have changed so much and we have grown together is many positive ways. I just feel very isolated because I can't share this with my friends and family would freak. Especially since I come from many generations of women that "Rule the Roost" so to speak. We have changed roles in our house quite quickly and easily. I went from person in charge to being way more laid back and letting him be more the Alpha. This has been the best thing so far for the both of us.

  2. Ashely: I'm so glad DD has been working for you and your marriage. I know you said you're new to DD, so if you have any questions or need advice on anything, let me know. It can be kind of scary to start at first. I'm just glad you're seeing the benefits from it. :)

  3. Hello, I am very new to this type of relationship although my new husband isn't and introduced it into our relationship and marriage.

    I was rather shocked about the idea at first but after many hours of talking and reading about I really came around to the idea. Not that I like spanking, I hate it but that is the point it does focus my mind to do the best.

    I do like the feeling of security in our marriage and the feeling that my husband looks after me, cares and loves me. It does at times feel restricted and my husband is quite strict on other areas of our marriage, especially my clothes.

    I started to write about my experiences some months ago on my blog http://mytakeonmarriage.blogspot.com/?zx=1be0a97a5134673d

    I do find this helps me express my self as at times I feel I cannot talk to anyone about things.

    Thanks for your site, it is lovely to read. Kate

  4. Kate- I checked out your blog (but haven't had time to read a lot of it yet) and it looks great. I'm looking forward to reading more about you and your husband. :)

  5. I know you wrote this a year ago, but I just had to comment. I am wanting try out DD but I am scared and have so many questions. Thank you for your post. Now I don't feel so alone.