Sunday, May 27, 2012

My First Maintenance Spanking

I feel like our lives are more hectic than ever lately, and I can't wait for them to calm down some. Between my husbands work schedule, tons of summer plans, starting to build our dream house, our son getting ready to turn 1, and more I'm TOTALLY ready for some upcoming vacations. We need to just relax...really bad. :-) In the midst of how crazy busy everything has been lately, my amazing husband wrote a post the other day on my blog for me. I let him pick the topic, and I have to say, he did an awesome job. Thank you so much babe! You can read his guest post here.


I know I wrote about it on my last post, but I really don't have the time to get in trouble right now. I guess that's one awesome thing about being so busy! It's been over a month since I've been in trouble (aside from one corner time issue). However, I can't say it's been over a month since I got spanked (unfortunately) because my husband decided, out of the blue (well, out of the blue to me at least, but I'm pretty sure he thought it through for awhile first) to begin maintenance spankings.


If you know us pretty well, you know that my husband and I really were never been maintenance spanking "fans" for lack of a better word. You can read about my husband and I's views on it here, and also learn about what maintenance spankings are if you are new to DD, and/or are unfamiliar with them.  


This past week we were getting ready to go to bed when, out of nowhere, my husband said he wanted to talk about maintenance spankings. Needless to say, I wasn't thrilled. I guess his views on it were starting to change, yet mine were pretty firm in the fact that I did not like the idea. After all, I hadn't broken the rules in forever, so I didn't quite understand why I had to get spanked.


Thankfully, my husband is awesome, and communicated his reasons behind wanting to start them pretty clearly. However, despite the fact I actually agreed with his reasons, I didn't want to do maintenance. Really, I just wanted to go to bed and pretend I didn't hear him just say he really wanted to give them a shot.


However, one thing I've been struggling with lately (and, in the past too, a little bit) is control. I've never really liked having control, but for some reason lately I've wanted it. At least a little part of it. Instead of asking my husband to do something, I started telling him to do something. I guess the best word for that is "bossy" like my husband has began calling it, but that's the truth. 


The good thing is that it just started (as in, within the past couple weeks) and it hasn't really became a problem yet which is something my husband and I agreed on. It isn't something that, thankfully, he felt needed to be addressed in the form of punishment. I guess he was giving me a chance to fix it before it escalated itself into a punishment situation. For that, I'm extremely grateful. :)


He decided a maintenance spanking would be a good idea to remind me of the rules so that, hopefully, I could continue my streak of no punishments (my goal is to make it a year. We'll see how well that goes, lol). 


So, I got spanked. My first maintenance spanking ever. Luckily it was a lot lighter and faster than a punishment spanking. But I'd totally be lying if I said it didn't sting because it did. I definitely felt it, but it was the "right level" if that makes any sense. My husband found a really good balance between everything. I was pretty impressed (although I totallllllly didn't want to tell him that at the time because I was still wanting to feel like this was the worst idea in the world).


There are a lot of different types of maintenance spankings, and I think the most common ones are weekly maintenance or something along those lines. Thankfully my husband and I agreed those just aren't for us (although, who knows, maybe he'll change his mind on that later on down the road?). Some may refer to the kind we did as reminder spankings, but really, they are one in the same. It's a spanking less severe than a punishment spanking to hopefully prevent a series of behaviors from turning into punishment spankings, and/or to remind the person of the rules so they are hopefully less likely to break them. It's as simple as that. However, although the concept sounds simple on the surface, to be honest, it was really hard for me to grasp.


It may have been the surprise element of this idea the other night, but whatever it was, I didn't handle it very well. It took a day (at least) for me to actually see that this concept really did work. I was pretty close minded to the idea at first, and I admit that. However, now that's it has been a little time, I can see that it really did work. It gave me a little "refresher course" I guess you could say on everything and as much as I don't want to admit that I needed that, I did.


So, here we go with maintenance I guess! I have to say, it's way better than punishment spankings and if it helps to reduce the number of those then maybe I really can reach my goal of not getting spanked for a year! It kinda seems like a longshot right now, but hey, a girl can dream. :)





15 comments:

  1. Chels, I don't think I've ever been more surprised -- and impressed -- by a post, LOL! It's always great to keep an open mind and I'm glad it went so well for you both.

    Maintenance wins, hands down, over punishments any day. Best of wishes on that year. Excellent goal!

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    1. Lol Rogue! It surprised me too, but I have to say that it was actually beneficial! I regret being so "anti-maintenance".

      It TOTALLY is better than punishment anyday...agreed.

      Hope you're doing well.

      -Chelsea

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  2. Hey Chelsea, welcome to my world. My HOH also decided this month that maintenence was something he wanted to do! sigh, never mind!

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    1. Let me know how it goes!
      -Chelsea

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  3. Chelsea, I am so surprised to read this. But happy to know that everyone is open to new ideas. We were so against the maintenance spankings because it didn't seem right to get spanked for doing nothing wrong. We started a couple of months ago, as kind of a reconnect, reminder, whatever you want to call it and they are good (not great, it's still hurts). I bet you can go a year without a real spanking. During real stressful and busy times, you will probably appreciate the maintenance spankings (someday). Good luck with all of your projects and with the maintenance.

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    1. I was against maintenance spankings for the same reason..it just seemed ridiculous and hard to wrap my mind around at first. However, it really does work and I'm pretty impressed!

      I like the idea of calling it a reconnect, or reminder, instead.

      -Chelsea

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  4. Surprised me too! It takes courage and commitment to try something new and its wonderful that you've both been able to do that. The key to maintenance is to not think of it as a punishment, because its not. Good luck with the change!

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    1. That's TOTALLY the key, you're right. It takes some getting used to, but it beats getting punished anyday. :-)

      -Chelsea

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  5. I actually asked my HOH for maintenance spankings. I feel it will really help keep me in line and remember my place. I wasn't going to ask for one but last night I did. He had asked me to do some laundry yesterday, because im really bad about keeping on top of it, and I told him I would. Well, my friend was over the other day and decided she was going to do my laundry without asking me first. I discovered that one of my nice shirts that is supposed to be handwashed got thrown into the wash and on the wrong setting! I was mad. And I threw a fit. A BIG fit. With like 10-15 min of continuous cuss words. Within earshot of my two year old. Well, my HOH was working at the time so I called and told him about it. We decided that I was going to wait for him to get home and then I would get vinegar in my mouth for 30 sec. Needless to say I don't think it helped. I was in a sour mood all day and that just seemed to make it worse. So that night before bed I asked him to spank me. I felt bad all day and thought it would help. So he had me kneel on all fours on the bed and proceeded to spank me with my belt. We started out with five on each cheek and it didn't seem to do much, so I laid down on my belly and he proceeded to give me more. I think we ended up with a total of 22...but im not sure. I was hoping for tears but they never came. But nevertheless it cleared up my bad mood. And im in an exceptionally good mood today. I think maintenance spankings will help us alot.

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    1. I admire you a lot for actually asking for it. That's something I don't think I could have ever done, but I give you major credit for doing it..I think it's awesome, and I really hope it continues to improve your marriage!

      :-)

      -Chelsea

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  6. I am new to DD. We have played around with erotic spanking. I have not really done anything to deserve a punishment spanking but really feel the need to relieve some stress, so I have asked my husband to begin with maintenance spankings and add punishment in if deserved. I know this seems backwards from everything I have read. Can it work this way?

    My husband is a little reluctant also, so I thought this might ease him in and help him realize the benefit and hopefully help him deal with a punishment spanking better when (because I am human and know the occasion will arrise) the time comes.

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  7. I am a lot like Anonymous on August 5th. Played around a bit in the past. Now we are two nights into three nights of "practice" with the wood paddle. He needs to learn how to spank and I need to learn how to take a spanking before a punishment situation arises. We get along very well. One year with no fights at all. But I do tend to get bossy when I'm tired. I hope to be mature enough to suggest a punishment spanking the next time that happens. Has anyone here ever requested a spanking?

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  8. This is anonymous from August 5th. Things are going well, my husband is definately embracing this. I started out by telling him how guilty I felt about something I did that ended up wasting money. I told him it would do me good to get rid of the guilt. At first I think "H" was treating it as kind of a joke, but after a lot of talking and me sharing things from this site and LDD, he is embracing it. He is on vacation this week so we have been doing maintenance every night. I had one semi punishment spanking that he handled well. Today I messed up pretty bad and have been assured that there will be no doubt I was punished when he is finished. I keep thinking am I crazy for asking for this??? I do feel loved though. :-)

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    1. He was true to his word.... I respect him for that. I definately won't repeat this mistake again. My bottom is on fire!

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  9. I hope you are finding maintenance helpful. I thought it was really unfair when my HoH first explained it to me on our honeymoon (I only got maintenance for the first month we were married, to help ease me in to being disciplined) and I did kind of hate it at first, but now I see how helpful it is. Besides keeping me on track we use at a time to reconnect and remind ourselves of our roles. I only get it once a month now but I know I need it and I look forward to it in many ways even though I view the spanking as something to "get through." He often spanks me for a very long time during maintenance, with breaks, but I go OTK and he uses his hand, and it just isn't nearly as bad as a punishment discipline, so it easy for me to separate the two. I also think he likes to have the more organic feel of making contact with my bottom with his hand....he uses an implement for punishment and while he feels that is best, I think that an HoH just sometimes needs to make that physical contact with his bare hand. Besides maintenance, we also do correction spankings, which is a short hand spanking, often over clothes, that follows a lecture or discussion about a behavior issue when my HoH feels that I wasn't willfully disobedient, but when I need redirecting. I am not being punished, so rarely do I cry during a correction, but my HoH feels that it's a good way for him to make his point if I go over his knee for physical correction after he has verbally corrected my behavior. Of course, if I repeat the behavior after being corrected, he will escalate into a punishment---actually two: one for the misbehavior,and then one for showing disrespect to him after he had taken the time to correct me previously. We also use correction spankings if I act out when we're away from the home....he may take me into a bathroom or into the car or behind a building and give me a short corrective spanking to arrest the behavior, and then follow up with appropriate discipline when we are home or someplace where he can paddle me in private. I am embarassed that I have had to make him do that before, but I can say that it does help. Well, I'm rambling when mostly I just wanted to wish you well with maintneance discipline...keep us posted. :)

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