Before my husband and I started domestic discipline I used to think that things such as wooden spoons really wouldn't hurt if someone struck you with it. Well, actually, before I started domestic discipline I didn't even think people
would use something like a wooden spoon to spank someone with. Those are for cooking. Same with paddles- I always thought of them as things that decorated the walls of fraternities. I thought belts were used as clothing accessories, canes were used for walking, hairbrushes were used for making your hair look good, rulers were for measuring things, slippers were to wear on your feet, and the list continues.
And then we started domestic discipline. All the sudden a wooden spoon has a
whole new meaning. I actually don't even know if we have any in our kitchen anymore. Same with the paddle. When someone references a paddle, I automatically think
crap, those hurt! not
yeah that reminds me of college Greek Life days. It's amazing how common household objects have a whole new meaning when you are in a DD marriage.
Spanking implements are a pretty important part of DD to a lot of people. The dilemma of which to use, where to buy them, which hurts worse, and much more is pretty frequently discussed. This guide is going to have 2 parts. The first part (below) is going to be an overview of the most common (and some uncommon) spanking implements, and a "pain rating scale". Part 2 will have frequently asked questions regarding implements, how to select which to spank with, where to find/buy spanking implements, and more. Hopefully this helps answer a lot of peoples questions, and gives you some new resources. :-)
I apologize in advance for the length of this (hey, at least I broke it into 2 parts!). I was actually going to make this into a short eBook, but decided against it (you're welcome). Enjoy, everyone! Also, if anyone wants a printable (.pdf or .doc) version, more information, the "shortened"/condensed version, etc. feel free to email.
The Spanking Implements Guide: Part 1
First, let me just say that the topic of implements is one that a lot of "DD wives" absolutely hate, and I get that. Trust me, I hate being spanked - let alone with something like a paddle. Just the thought of that sucks, let alone actually having it happen. So, needless to say, I understand why the topic of spanking implements can be one a lot of people don't even want to think about. The bottom line though is they are not as scary as you might think. In fact, some days I'd rather be spanked with something like a wooden spoon (or something else that's light) as opposed to my husbands hand because being spanked with someones hand (especially if your husband is strong..) isn't as pain-free as some may think. The point I'm trying to make is some implements are definitely "scary" for lack of a better word. But, it isn't a topic that is as scary as you might think. Some are really mild, and some aren't, but you'll find what works best for you and your marriage/situation.
NOTE: Some of the links within this entry reference some pretty questionable websites where implements are sold. The link on my blog should link directly to the page with the implement I'm referring to. Anything else that you may choose to find while browsing around the site, most likely, does not reflect on my personal views on what is/is not ok within DD.
What do I get spanked with?
I get this question on, what seems like, a daily basis. "Chelsea, what spanking implements does your husband use?". Well, you're about to find out. I actually might update this later with pictures of the
actual implements but at the moment I'm being way too lazy to go find them, take pictures, upload them, etc. So, the images below are taken from the site where he purchased them, with the exception of some. (like the hand, wooden spoon, etc)
Each DD marriage is different, and no two people practice the same. In our DD marriage, my husband often time uses a combination of implements. For example- his hand for the warmup, then the paddle and belt for the spanking. That's just an example, and it isn't like that in every case, but you see what I mean.
Hand
My husband uses his hand for things like maintenance spankings, warm ups, or "swats". I can't remember the last time I got spanked solely with his hand though (other than swats). Sometime I miss those days!
Wooden Spoon
I think the one we have came from Target, but I honestly can't remember. Regardless, above is what it looks like - except I drew all over ours, and it's kinda half broken (why don't you all ask my husband how that happened. Come on, go for it!). But, at one point in time, that's what it looked like.
My husband uses the wooden spoon for warm ups (pretty much every time) or reminder spankings. Sometimes it's used for minor offenses too.
This is the most common implement he uses, by far. It's used for "regular spankings", minor ones (a few swats) sometimes, and pretty much every time I get spanked (that isn't maintenance, swats, or reminders) it's involved to some degree. I guess that would be why I hate it.
Here is the paddle we have. We've had it for awhile now, and trust me, it definitely makes me think twice about breaking any rules.
Strap
In our house, the strap is usually used in conjunction with the paddle (he splits the number of strikes). I've always considered it more of an intermediate or advanced level spanking implement though, simply because it's a lot harder to control than something like a paddle, and the sting is pretty intense (although, in my opinion, it's really short). I don't get the strap that often, actually, but when I do it definitely stings.
Hairbrush
I used to get spanked with the hairbrush a lot....and then my husband discovered the ever-so-wonderful (not) paddle and now my days of being spanked with the hairbrush are gone (kinda a bittersweet feeling, because although it sucks, I definitely think it's better than the paddle!).
Anyway, above is the exact hairbrush I have. It's made by Aveda, and you can buy it
here. Ironically, it's called a paddle brush. But, let me tell you, if you're a girl, you must own one of these. Just don't let your husband see it. :-) It's the best hairbrush in the world- it makes your hair so shiny and soft. But, it can also really sting if your husband gets a hold of it- just a warning.
Cane
The number of times it's crossed my mind to throw this dumb thing away is a lot. However, I've decided against it, but still, the cane sucks. Thankfully, I only have been spanked with the cane during severe offenses, so it isn't very often.
The cane we have is more of like a wooden stick thing (like you see above). But, it packs quite the sting. My husband bought it at the same place he bought our paddle, and you can see it
here.
So, there you have it. That's pretty much everything I get spanked with. Some are pretty intense, but they are definitely behavior changers, let's just put it that way. Now that we've got that fun trip into our "implement box" out of the way, onto the rest of the guide..
The Most Common Spanking Implements
Like I said before, everyone does DD differently, and everyone spanks with different implements. However, below are the most common spanking implements.
The opinions in this section are mine, for the ones I've been spanked with (which are basically the implements included in the section above) and I consulted other people who I know have been spanked with the rest, in order to get their take on them. Since not everyone feels the same thing, or the same way, you can take these opinions with a grain of salt, if you want, but I just thought they would help everyone. :-)
Hand
I think every single DD wife has been spanked with her husband's hand at some point, right? It's by far the most common. The best part about it, for the spanker, is that it's always there. So, it makes it easy to do things like swats, reminder spankings, etc.
In general, hand spankings are the least severe out of everything. When you start adding implements in is when the pain increases some, so hand spankings are the most mild, in most cases. Also, hand spankings tend to leave the sting of the spank just on the surface of the skin, meaning the chances of getting any sort of damage from a hand spanking (i.e.- welts, bruises, extreme soreness, etc.) is very minimal.
For beginners and those new to DD, hand spankings are probably the best route to go at first (in my opinion). It's good to establish a "spanking foundation" so to speak, so you don't want to just jump right in and begin using implements. Thus, the hand is the best to start with. But, for those who consider themselves to be out of the "beginner phase" of DD, spanking with the hand I probably wouldn't recommend for every single spankable offense only because there needs to be a severity line/scale created somewhere.
Wooden Spoon
I heard somewhere once (and I wish I could remember where, so I could cite it) that the concept of being spanked by a wooden spoon originated back in like the 1950's when men would use the wooden cooking spoon to spank their wives there in the kitchen for not having dinner ready on time.
Now, obviously, that's not something I'd recommend and I think that sounds a tad ridiculous. But, at the same time, it makes a couple points. The first is that it's a popular implement, and has been around forever. The second is that it's a very "on the spot" type implement, much like using your hand. It can be used wherever (to an extent) and is something you probably have in 1 or 2 rooms of your house already so if the "need arises" it's readily available to most. A lot of people tend to favor it because it's very easy to find (you don't have to go to a specific spanking implement store to purchase one), and is probably something you already have around your house.
The wooden spoon is really lightweight, and the sting of it is pretty powerful. However, the sting only lasts for a few seconds, because it stays right on the surface. Like your hand, it's unlikely to cause any damage or long-term harm.
The wooden spoon is another implement that is ideal for beginners or those wishing to begin introducing implements. However, a lot of people (including us) transition into using the wooden spoon as a warm-up type implement as they progress further into domestic discipline.
Hairbrush
Hairbrushes are another common spanking implement because, like wooden spoons, they're found in almost every household already. However, they're definitely a little more severe (in my opinion) than a wooden spoon because they're more dense.
Hairbrushes, unlike some of the lighter implements, don't keep the sting on the surface. Therefore, some bruising or pain that lasts longer than you may expect could occur, depending on the number of strikes and severity. The other thing to be careful about with hairbrushes is they can crack easily. I'd recommend using a wooden one, over a plastic one, for that reason.
Belt
Belts are another commonly used spanking implement because just about everyone owns one. I think a lot of people also like belts because they're good "warning tools". I've heard of several HoH's warning their wives to behave, while out in public or in a non-private situation, by tapping their belts. It may sound odd to some, but I hear that a lot.
Belts are very similar to straps, except belts are more common I think, simply because more people have them. They're also a pretty traditional spanking implement. However, with belts you need to be careful because they can be very difficult to control. Also, belts can leave welts, if not used properly or if used too many times. It's extremely important that, if you decide to use a belt, you "double it over" so that it doesn't wrap around and cause damage to the sides, or front of the body on accident. The pain from a belt seems pretty similar to a strap in that the pain stays primarily on the surface and produces a pretty sharp stinging sensation in the beginning, but fades pretty fast.
I'd recommend belts for more advanced DD couples simply because they are a lot harder to control, and they're also more severe implement as opposed to something like a wooden spoon.
Wooden Paddle
Wooden paddles are another extremely common spanking implement, especially in America. They're commonly featured in DD blog entries, videos, websites, stories, and more. It's almost like the "traditional spanking implement" it seems.
People seem to like wooden paddles for a variety of different reasons. I asked my husband why he uses one and he said "it's associated with spanking more, and it seems to be the most effective." (and he's right, but that's beside the point) I've also heard people say they often spank with a wooden paddle because they're easy to make (if you know woodworking), and they can be altered quite a bit (you can add writing to them, put holes in them for extra sting, etc.).
Wooden paddles are very dense (just like they look), so it's important to understand, especially if you have never used one before, that they need to be used with caution in order to prevent bruising. Unlike some other implements, wooden paddles also leave a sting a lot longer than you would expect. After a spanking, it feels like your bottom is on fire, and the burning sensation fades (eventually) to a really sore feeling- sometimes it feels like you're bruised, when you actually aren't. So, the pain with a paddling is definitely a little more intense, but at the same time, it's also very effective (on lots of people, not just me).
Cane
I included the cane because I know in the UK they are very common implements. Just as a warning up front: canes are severe implements. Not like so severe that you can't tolerate it after 1 strike, or anything like that (at least you
should be able to tolerate it if done correctly) but canes are definitely not meant to be used by beginners, or for every-day type offenses (in my opinion). Canes are typically reserved for the most severe offenses, repeated offenses, or I've heard of some couples using them only for dangerous offenses. However you choose to use the cane within your marriage is obviously up to you, but there's your warning- they aren't beginner level implements, despite the fact they look lightweight.
The other thing to know about canes is that they leave marks. Even one strike can leave a welt, although they usually fade pretty fast (especially if swung lightly). The bottom line though- canes are effective, but severe. So, use with caution.
Uncommon Spanking Implements
Paint Stirrer
Paint stirrers are a lot like the wooden spoon. Good for beginners, sting fades rather quickly and they're lightweight. However, probably the best part about the paint stirrer is that they're free at almost any home improvement store.
Rubber Paddle
Rubber paddles are known to produce a more intense sting as opposed to a wooden paddle. However, most people say that instead of feeling the burning sensation after a spanking, like you would with a wooden paddle, the sensation is more of a tingling feeling, then turns into sore pain (similar to a wooden paddle). The rubber paddles are known to be more severe than wooden paddles, but are nice because the risk of bruising with one greatly decreases.
I would recommend rubber paddles to anyone who considers themselves to be out of the "beginner DD" phase, due to the fact that I've heard it's more severe than a wooden paddle.
Loopy Johnny
These may be more common than I thought they were, since a lot of people often ask my husband and I about them. However, the general consensus from those I poled was "stick it under uncommon implements since they're hard to find, and not everyone has heard of them" so that's what I did.
I've never been spanked with a loopy johnny. However, I've heard that it acts very similar to a cane. It's some peoples "implement of choice" (despite the fact that it's a lot more severe than some implements) because it's extremely quiet. So, for those who need a quiet spanking implement, this might be one to consider because most people say that it makes virtually no noise.
But, like the cane, I would strongly recommend this only be used by people who would consider themselves to be at an advanced domestic discipline level.
Ping Pong Paddle
Yet another paddle variation, except this one is much more easy to find. If you aren't into purchasing implements from designated spanking retailers, but still want to spank with a paddle, this might be for you. Although the ping pong paddle is a lot lighter than a wooden spanking paddle, and the pain afterwards is much less, the ping pong paddle is still a spanking implement that could be used by DD couples of all skill types.
As I'm sure you know, ping pong paddles are coated with a soft foam type padding with a light rubber coating. Therefore, the force of the spanking may need to be harder than what you would choose to use with another type of paddle because, in many aspects, the ping pong paddle is the lesser severe of the paddle types on the market.
Bath Brush
The bath brush is basically a cross between a hairbrush and a paddle. It's a lot heavier than a traditional hairbrush, but a lot lighter than a traditional paddle, which makes it the "perfect combination" for a lot of people.
Bath brushes, from what I've heard, are a lot more intense than a hairbrush spanking. I've even read some people call them "the worst implement ever!" but honestly, I don't know how accurate that is. Someone else may need to weigh in. But, what I do know is that bath brushes are easy to find, relatively inexpensive, and are good for a person looking for a cross between 2 very popular spanking implements: a paddle and a hairbrush.
Other Spanking Implements:
- Switch
- Wooden paddle with holes
- Lexan paddle
- Flyswatter
- Slipper
- Spatula
- Ruler
- Strap
- Tawse
- Birch
- Riding crop
- Strap
- Cutting board
- Leather paddle
- Tilt wand
Pain Scales
It may go without saying that everyone can tolerate pain differently. So, for this exercise, I gave the following list of spanking implements to 10 different people, all with different pain tolerances (some who have very high pain tolerances, and some with very low pain tolerances). Then, I took the averages of those numbers, and created the following pain scale. The implements were ranked on a 1-10 scale based on the following criteria: how intense the sting was during the spanking, how intense the sting/pain was after the spanking, how much they feared the implement, and how effective it was in terms of behaviors being modified due to pain from the spanking. 10 is the worst/hardest/most severe and a 1 is the lightest/easiest to deal with. Also, these are based on an average spanking of 20-30 swats at 3/4 strength. I didn't do all of the spanking implements, only some. So, if there's a specific one you'd like to see, let me know.
Wooden paddle: 7.5
Wooden hairbrush: 5.5
Cane: 9
Wooden spoon: 4
Bath brush: 7.5
Belt: 6
Hand: 2
Switch: 7
Loopy Johnny: 8.5
Wooden paddle with holes: 8.5
Stay tuned for the Spanking Implements Guide Part 2 coming soon!
